Do’s and Don’ts for Supporting Someone Who Is Depressed, Suicidal, or Considering Self-Harm

When someone you care about is struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts, or self-harm, it can be heartbreaking and frightening. You may feel unsure what to say or how to help. Afraid that the wrong words might make things worse.

The truth is, your presence, compassion, and understanding can make a real difference. Knowing what to do (and what not to do) can help you offer safe, supportive, and potentially life-saving care.

At Personal Wellness Solutions, we work closely with individuals and families to promote healing, prevent crisis, and build hope. Here are some important do’s and don’ts to guide you when supporting someone in emotional distress.

✅ DO: Listen Without Judgment

When someone opens up about feeling hopeless or suicidal, the most powerful thing you can do is listen. Let them talk freely about their emotions without trying to fix or minimize their pain.

Say things like:

• “I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. I’m here to listen.”
  
  

• “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
  
  

💬 Validation saves lives. Listening without judgment tells the person their pain matters and that they’re not a burden.

🚫 DON’T: Try to “Cheer Them Up” or Offer Quick Fixes

Phrases like “Just think positive!” or “You have so much to be grateful for!” can unintentionally invalidate someone’s pain. Depression isn’t about a bad attitude, it’s a serious mental health condition.

Avoid minimizing or rushing them toward recovery. Instead, meet them where they are with empathy and patience.

✅ DO: Encourage Professional Help

If someone is expressing suicidal thoughts or engaging in self-harm, professional support is essential. Encourage them to reach out to a licensed therapist, counselor, or doctor.

You can say:

• “Would you like me to help you find someone to talk to?”
  
  

• “We can call your therapist or the crisis line together.”
  
  

At Personal Wellness Solutions, our compassionate therapists specialize in depression treatment, suicide prevention, and trauma recovery. Reaching out for help is a sign of strength never weakness.

🚫 DON’T: Promise to Keep It a Secret

If someone confides in you that they’re considering suicide or self-harm, it’s critical not to keep that secret. While confidentiality builds trust, safety must come first.

If you believe someone is in danger, reach out for immediate help. You can:

• Call 911 in an emergency
  
  

• Contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (available 24/7)
  
  

• Stay with them until professional help arrives
  
  

You can care deeply and still take action that’s what true support looks like.

✅ DO: Take Their Feelings Seriously

Never assume someone is exaggerating or “just looking for attention.” Every mention of suicide or self-harm should be taken seriously.

Even if they’ve talked about it before, treat each instance as urgent. Many people who are suicidal don’t necessarily want to die... they just want the pain to stop.

Your calm concern could be the difference between despair and hope.

🚫 DON’T: Lecture or Shame

Avoid saying things like:

• “Other people have it worse.”
  
  

• “You just need to toughen up.”
  
  

• “You’re overreacting.”
  
  

Shame and guilt make people withdraw further. Instead, offer compassion and remind them that their emotions are valid and help is available.

✅ DO: Stay Connected

Check in regularly. Depression and suicidal thoughts often make people feel isolated or forgotten. A simple message like “Thinking of you today” or “Want to grab coffee?” can make a big impact.

Consistent connection reminds them that they matter and that they’re not alone in this fight.

🚫 DON’T: Ignore Warning Signs

Be alert for changes in behavior, such as:

• Withdrawal from friends or activities
  
  

• Talking about feeling hopeless or worthless
  
  

• Giving away personal belongings
  
  

• Increased use of drugs or alcohol
  
  

• Talking about death or saying goodbye
  
  

If you notice these signs, don’t wait. Reach out, ask direct questions (“Are you thinking about hurting yourself?”), and connect them to professional support immediately.

✅ DO: Take Care of Yourself, Too

Supporting someone in crisis can be emotionally draining. It’s okay to seek your own counseling or guidance. You can’t pour from an empty cup — caring for yourself helps you care for others.

At Personal Wellness Solutions, we also offer support for loved ones who are helping someone in distress. You don’t have to shoulder this alone.

Help Is Always Available

If you or someone you love is struggling with thoughts of self-harm or suicide:
📞 Call 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline) available 24/7, nationwide
🚨 If someone is in immediate danger, call 911

For ongoing professional therapy and support, contact:
📞 Personal Wellness Solutions at (813) 462-8849
Our licensed therapists provide trauma-informed, compassionate care to help individuals and families heal, recover, and rediscover hope.

You are not alone and help is always within reach.